The intense COVID period is long gone; two years is quite much, right? But some of its effects on the Church are here to stay.
Some of the points I’ll highlight have been going on for a while but their usefulness has just been made even more acknowledged as a result of the COVID. Imagine the few realistic scenarios described below.
1. Second Service: The one who woke up late
Sade wakes up to attend her beloved local church which starts service by 7:00 am. She yawns and stretches her muscles from the previous day’s ushering job. Her eyes roam the room and get fixed on the wall clock in her room. She blinks in surprise to find out that it’s already 7: 30am.
In her head, she quickly calculates the time she’ll spend in the bathroom, put on a Sunday best and trek the 30-minutes walk to the church as it was tough to get an okada. No matter how fast she was, she wouldn’t get there earlier than 8:30. Sade thinks for a while before making her decision.
“I’ll just attend the second service,” She says and wraps the blanket over her head so she could continue sleeping.
2. Live Streaming: The one who forgot to Iron her clothes + other reasons.
Sade is again awake on a Sunday morning but for some reason, she disrupts her usual routine of bathing first before checking her cloth-ful closet for clothes to wear to church. She starts checking for clothes to wear to church but those that catch her fancy are all in need of a pressing iron. She sits on the bed, exhausted.
“I’ll” just watch the Livestream on Facebook or Mixlr.” She says and squeezes the clothes back into her wardrobe. She then picks up her phone and scrolls mindlessly on Facebook. She seems to be re-thinking her decision but sighs soon after.
“At least, I won’t have to face sister Yetunde yet.” She then looks at her reflection on the phone. In the reflection of her eyes, she sees secrets and issues waiting to be explained.
3. Nosemasks: Must I use nosemasks? It’s not 2020
Sade is on her way to church with a smile on her face and swings her handbag back and forth with joy like a kindergartener.
People look at her and assume that she has just been paid her salary. Meanwhile, she was just happy that someone she witnessed the previous day had called her very early in the morning, asking to meet her in church.
She is at the church gate and sounds of people praying can be heard but she is stopped by a uniformed man.
“Put on your nose mask please,” He says.
Sade looks at him wide-eyed.
“It’s two years since COVID,” She wanted to say but swallowed her words. One moment later, she was patting her masked face.
4. Hygiene: Hand sanitisers
Sade proceeds to enter the church but the uniformed man’s voice calls her back.
“Ma’am!”
Sade looks back at the man who held a hand sanitiser towards her. She smiles at her forgetfulness and grabs the hand-sanitiser.
5. Economic Meltdown: The one to whom going to church is now an expensive adventure
Sade walks around her room and scratches her head. She peers into the mirror and picks at the blemishes on her face. She isn’t opening her mouth but in her head, a lot of noise is going on.
“All I eat is Garri and Kulikuli, why won’t my face look like this since Ounje is ore awo (The type of food makes the skin)?”
“The amount of rice I have can’t even last this week. where would I get money to eat this week?”
“And I don’t want to ask Sister Jumoke for another 1,000 Naira so it won’t be a habit.”
“But, I still have to drop offering. The Bible says I should drop my offerings cheerfully so should I spend the offering I’ve been keeping for Sunday on food ni?”
“Sade, you shouldn’t be anxious about what to eat or what to wear.”
“I’m just depressed that I don’t even want to see the joy on the faces of people in the church. But my depression can be easily cured by a credit alert.”
These thoughts jumbled together in Sade’s head and she resumes pacing the floor in the room.
6. Coming Out: The one who always wanted to talk about relationships vs religion.
Sade picks up her phone and checks into WhatsApp. She starts writing a Whatsapp update and a gospel rap song playing on the phone.
“Knowing the Bible is one thing, Knowing the author is another.💥”
“Religion is a guy in church thinking about fishing,🐟🦈🐬 relationship is a guy out fishing thinking about God.”
The rap song gets more intense and Sade smiles to herself.
7. Online Prayers: The prayerful emojis 🔥🔥🗣🗣
“Sade!” Sade’s mother called for the fifth time. Sade was in her room and had an earpiece stuck in her ears. She wasn’t listening to music, she was listening to someone who was explaining the reason they had to pray.
Sade’s mother barged into Sade’s room furious but calmed down when she found Sade praying. Sade’s mother turned to leave the room but Sade opened her eyes then.
“Ma, did you call me?” Sade asked and typed a fire emoji on the group chat.
“Online prayers ba? Just don’t forget to pick up those shoes when you’re done.
“Shoes?”
“I paid for some shoes, go pick your size when you’re done praying,”
Sade was confused. she wanted to jump off the chair and go pick out shoes before someone else picked them from the shoe shop.
“Don’t leave this room until you’re done praying,” Sade’s mother ordered. “Easily distracted young Christian,” She murmured before walking out of the room.
Sade beamed. “Was that an insult or what?”
8. Digital spiritual check-up:
“Hi, Mentor!” Sade says into the phone excitedly.
“I’m not that playful,” She laughs in response to whatever the person at the other end said.
“You mean, how’s my spiritual life?” Sade smiled, ready to launch into the stories of how her life is.
Conclusion:
Apologies to any Sade reading this. This Sade is just a normal young Christian going through after-COVID everyday life as observed by the author. Thanks.
P.S Don’t forsake the fellowship of the brethren. (And, our gathering makes the church, not the building) The Bible says so, not me.
Awesome, keep it up
Thank you😇