Kenny: I started thinking, “What can I offer to society?“
Hearty: Was your heart inclined towards what you’re going to do after you leave the school.
Kenny: So many times. In my 400 level, which is the final stage in the school, I started thinking, “What can I offer to society, and what can I do to help myself too?” So, I started putting some things together. If I don’t do this, I will do that. Let me go into this business.
Aside from that, I started thinking, “What will my course offer me?” I know that I cannot stay at this first-degree level if I want to be better qualified to be fully fit as a counsellor—I studied Guidance and Counselling. And then, “What field do I want to venture into?” If I were to pick anything, it would be from these two: Family counseling, relationship counseling, and perhaps clinical counseling. Those are the aspects I’m interested in. So, I don’t know the one I’ll pick when I get to that stage. But I’m just still trusting God that I will be fine.
However, it is not like I’m putting pressure on myself. I’m only working towards knowing which one will be better. You cannot say you want to go to that field and not have a plan and a plan B. And, apart from a white-collar job, I still want to run a business. Those are my plans after school.
Hearty: So, what do you think when people say it is nonsense when Christians are somewhat confused about what directions to take when there are many options you can venture into, and you’re a little confused?
Kenny: There is nothing like nonsense. We are humans, created with a mind, body, etc. And you don’t say it is nonsense. Why won’t you be curious? It is just that you should not let your curiosity be something that would affect your health and your performance in reality. But if you’re not curious, you can’t move a step forward. Maybe they want to tell you to keep calm, look up to God, and something else like that, but that it is nonsense for you not to be curious or look forward to things.
Even the Bible says to plan your days, you should plan ahead of time. So, the Bible that says you should plan knows what should be done. Even God did not just move out of curiosity. When He wanted to make man, He said, “Let us make man in our own image,” And He created man. So, you should ask questions. You need to know your strengths and weaknesses. “What should I do with my strengths, where should I go?”
Even if you’re a Christian and you have questions, it is just an advantage that you have Christ, and you’ll be able to move faster because you can ask God. You should not just keep asking yourself. You should ask God too, and put him in the equation so it can be balanced. Put God in the equation when you’re curious, confused, or worried about what to do next. Try to get a response from God. It’s not about not being confused because you’re a Christian. We are all humans. Even when Jesus came to the world, he felt the pain humans felt. There is no way you will not be confused or curious. The only way is just to look up to God, and he’ll solve it for you.
Hearty: So, I’ve met people who are overwhelmed. They are so overwhelmed that you can see it on their faces. All of us might be dressed for finalist dinners, we are looking so classy and put together. You have your makeup on, there’s food, the DJ is blasting songs, and all of us are like “4 years don waka..” But this guy goes back to his house/hostel, and he is thinking “What’s next? At least when I came to this school, I was sure that four years of my life were secure, and I knew what to do.” So, after four years or more of UI shege, he might be asking, what is next?
We’ve heard stories of how once upon a time in Nigeria because you were a university graduate, the moment you stepped out of the school gate, companies were waiting for you to give you a job, with a nice car, house, and handsome salary. Such a person cannot be worried about his next step. Nobody wants to depend on their family. In fact, for some others, their families are looking up to them. People are overwhelmed. So, what do you have to say to them? Maybe a word of encouragement or something. And you can just tell them “Go and pray, it is very simple, God will answer you.”
Kenny: I started thinking, what can I offer to society?
Hearty: Was your heart inclined towards what you’re going to do after you leave the school?Kenny: So many times. In my 400 level, which is the final stage in the school, I started thinking, “What can I offer to society, and what can I do to help myself too?” So, I started putting some things together. If I don’t do this, I will do that. Let me go into this business.
Aside from that, I started thinking, “What will my course offer me?” I know that I cannot stay at this first-degree level if I want to be better qualified to be fully fit as a counsellor—I studied Guidance and Counselling. And then, “What field do I want to venture into?” If I were to pick anything, it would be from these two: Family counseling, relationship counseling, and perhaps clinical counseling. Those are the aspects I’m interested in. So, I don’t know the one I’ll pick when I get to that stage. But I’m just still trusting God that I will be fine. However, it is not like I’m putting pressure on myself. I’m only working towards knowing which one will be better. You cannot say you want to go to that field and not have a plan and a plan B. And, apart from a white-collar job, I still want to run a business. Those are my plans after school.
Hearty: So, what do you think when people say it is nonsense when Christians are somewhat confused about what directions to take when there are many options you can venture into, and you’re a little confused?
Kenny: There is nothing like nonsense. We are humans, created with a mind, body, etc. And you don’t say it is nonsense. Why won’t you be curious? It is just that you should not let your curiosity be something that would affect your health and your performance in reality. But if you’re not curious, you can’t move a step forward. Maybe they want to tell you to keep calm, look up to God, and something else like that, but that it is nonsense for you not to be curious or look forward to things.
Even the Bible says to plan your days, you should plan ahead of time. So, the Bible that says you should plan knows what should be done. Even God did not just move out of curiosity. When He wanted to make man, He said, “Let us make man in our own image,” And He created man. So, you should ask questions. You need to know your strengths and weaknesses. “What should I do with my strengths, where should I go?”
Even if you’re a Christian, you will have questions, it is just an advantage that you have Christ, and you’ll be able to move faster because you can ask God. You should not just keep asking yourself. You should ask God too, and put him in the equation. Put God in the equation when you’re curious, confused, or worried about what to do next. Try to get a response from God. It’s not about not being confused because you’re a Christian. We are all humans. Even when Jesus came to the world, he felt the pain humans felt. There is no way you will not be confused or curious. The only way is just to look up to God, He’ll solve it for you.
Hearty: So, I’ve met people who are overwhelmed. They are so overwhelmed that you can see it on their faces. All of us might be dressed for finalist dinners, we are looking so classy and put together. You have your makeup on, there’s food, the DJ is blasting songs, and all of us are like “4 years don waka..” But this guy goes back to his house/hostel, and he is thinking “What’s next? At least when I came to this school, I was sure that four years of my life were secure, and I knew what to do.” So, after four years or more of UI shege, he might be asking, what is next?
We’ve heard stories of how once upon a time in Nigeria because you were a university graduate, the moment you stepped out of the school gate, companies were waiting for you to give you a job, with a nice car, house, and handsome salary. Such a person cannot be worried about his next step. Nobody wants to depend on their family. In fact, for some others, their families are looking up to them. People are overwhelmed. So, what do you have to say to them? Maybe a word of encouragement or something. And you can just tell them “Go and pray, it is very simple, God will answer you.”
Kenny: (Laughs) We know we are a people of prayer, but after prayer, you have to take steps. After Jesus prayed, he still took some steps so that he could fulfill his purpose on earth. You have to take steps. But, the most important thing is that we should not allow panic to take over, neither fear. We should try and be calm even if it seems like it’s getting out of hand. If you begin to panic, it won’t solve the problem. It would even increase the problem and make us more confused. When you are calm, your brain can start producing some ideas.
I’ve also been there. Two hundred level was not easy. It was wonderful, let’s just say that. I don’t know how it happened but I just knew that even in the midst of it, when I’m almost confused… I soaked my pillow with tears oh, but even in the midst of it, I remember God holding my hands.
But, what we should remember is that apart from praying and looking to God, we should take steps that will move us forward. You can educate yourself. There is a time you need to explore and know the solution to your predicament. It is not a time for you to be depressed, and sit down, sit back, fold your arms and say “Okuku ti sele, o ti sele naa niyen.”
The moment you start thinking about how you can find a solution, things get better. You can go online and do research. We are in a technological era. If I were to counsel you, I can’t say it is your mental state that you’re having a problem with. I can’t say if it is an educational problem. There are different issues. I might say that your issue is a mental one and advise you, meanwhile, what you need is educational intervention. I can’t get everything for you. You can just go online and search for information about it. Even if it will just scratch the surface, you’re no longer in the dark, it will still help to an extent.
Always remember that God is not just watching you. He’ll keep you, and help you. But if you’re not doing anything, my friend, zero times zero is zero. But if you have two and bring them before God, those two will keep you moving. It will move you forward. It depends on your input and your strength. Even if you have a hundred grace, but you put zero strength, it can’t get you anywhere.
You should remember that even in your strength during times of hardships, apart from praying, you should try and give some input so you have a good result. At the end of the day, your outcome would be better than you expected. And you can look back, and see that it wasn’t even really your input, it was God that breathed on your input.
It usually amazes me when I see people who are feeling down and going through something, especially Christians. They just think, “I just need to pray.” It’s so annoying. I know you need to pray, but just don’t pray, you need to input something. Your prayers need to be powering something. So, it is like lighting a fire using firewood. Prayer is the fuel, but you just keep on adding fuel, you do not light the matches. So, what is the use of the fuel? It is just wasted. I see people with problems, and they are like “I want to go and pray,” or they hear other people’s struggles and say “It is because you are not praying!”
Brother calm down, sister you too. What other steps have you taken apart from praying? God knows that prayer is important but do something too that will trigger the result. God self will look at you and say, “See my daughter, we have to help her. This is a child I’m proud of.”
Hearty: Some other reason people get overwhelmed and fall into a state of depression is because they are comparing themselves to another person. Maybe they are thinking about the future. Maybe they have a particular circle of friends, and they are thinking about the next 5 years. They may have thoughts like “What if this person is already at a particular level, and I’m just here?” They just put unnecessary pressure on themselves.
Kenny: That’s also a reason, but it is better not to put pressure on yourself. Because if you put that pressure on yourself, that is when your progress would be slower than normal. You’re distracted by other people’s journeys. You have your weaknesses, and you have your strengths. The other person also has his/hers.
So, you can’t say that this person’s strength must be my strength. We are not the same. We are friends and might have similarities, but we are not the same. That is why all humans are unique. We should walk at our own pace, and we will see in the future. But, if you become overwhelmed now, you won’t be able to do anything at all.
Hearty: Thank you so much for your time.
Vocabulary
Shege: Nigerians use the word shege to express meanings like hardships, trials, tribulations.
4 years don waka: It’s been four years.
Okuku ti sele, o ti sele naa niyen: It has happened, and that’s it.
Read the previous episode here
