E fit Shock You – Church Chronicles Season 2

E don tey wey me and you don jam for this space. Na exam I write write write oh. I say I no get time to dey write again. For how many months wey he be like that? I con tell myself “After exam, you go con resume.” Na wetin I think be that. But after we finish exam, I try. I try but he con be like say the plan of say I go dey give back to back stories like layer upon layer of cake, but na only rest I dey rest. Birthday issue still don enter. Na then I know say that week don commot too. You know, person go fit pray and do many many things sotey usher imself into a new year. Na so week dey climb on top week for my eyes. E shock me.

Na so I go one supermarket three times this week (due to the cashless economy. Na only dem they accept transfer without too much tori and wahala). I don jam person wey be say na for hundred level I see am last. He don become big boy. Wetin him first tok say “Bukola, the writer”. E don shock me. I say Eh! How you take know? You sign up for my email ni abi you jam me for social media? Him dey remind me say I be writer. E don be like say me sef don forget.

No be say I stop writing patapata o. At least, I still dey write personal stuff wey I no fit share. Sometimes, I fit carry my laptop and vent my emotions on screen and calm down after that. There bin times say I just know say something dey totori me for body wey I fit tell papa God, but me I no get mouth talk am or I don’t know where I con start to tell am. I go carry paper, I go write “papa God, this this, that that” Las las, everything go con set. You fit buy workbook wey go help you start dey write wetin dey totori you. 

So, no be say I no dey write, but pe, I go na focus and say na this thing I wan write about. Na Church chronicles I wan write now, Oya, put water inside cup, dey drink my water and type my business, and shatter the tables. No, no be like that. I no even get mind shake tables like that. But wetin God no fit do no exist. I fit turn Lion suddenly dey bleed red ink on paper abi screen. Ha ha ha!,  Devil dey shake as He wey sidon for heaven dey laugh.

For Valentine’s day, I thought say I go carry one of my stories, Heels and Valleys, wey get something wey look like romance inside. At least that go do something. Na so I forget patapata. Wetin even do me that day, I no remember. I sha know say I plan am. I say I go look for one episode wey sweet wella. I go con post am for Instagram (follow us for free printables/paste-ables, especially if you be student. ) Chai! Even my personal Instagram suffer. So, E don be like say my leave don long, and na today them wake me up from my illusion pe my rest period still long like tape rule wey tailor dey use. 

According to my school’s schedule, virtual classes go start next week. My lecturers con dey serious. Them don create WhatsApp group for us. This saying wey talk say na until you dey heaven you go rest. For earth here, no rest for nobody. The Bible wey I carry tell me say na wicked people no dey get rest. But I no know, I be wicked person? He don be like say I go just climb this jangirova epo moto. I go plan my life, dey ready to do spontaneous thing, I go con ask God make him help me. Make him strengthen me. Make him give me grace to dey do the things wey me I won do for myself too.

Responsibility dey call, them dey shout make I do this, make I do that. E con dey torchlight into my matter say e be like say I no even rate myself at all. Becos, organizations wey me I join say, make I improve on myself, dey assign me this. Them tok say, if I no do am, dem go fine me. And na me enter am with my two legs. I say na passion push me inside it. And I know inside my heart say I no fit disappoint this organization. So, how come I dey fall my own hand? I don dey too much inside my comfort zone be that. I con forget say I be priority too. And i no fit happy dey do other person thing wella if my mind dey thing wey I suppose do for myself. 

So, wetin I dey tok? February don come, now hin con dey waka leave us, March don dey happy where hin dey. People dey celebrate say them go collect salary. Some others dey think say, the thing them plan for February wey them no do, na another chance dey come so for new month. So, na life I dey reason so. I fit write a church chronicle today if I put my mind. 

So, the moral of the tori be say you only do your best at planning. And that the sabbath period for church Chronicles don over. So, make unna look forward to Church Chronicles, especially the reviews. I don decide to take am more serious. I no dey joke. E fit shock you oh.

So, na like that we go get new presido. Baba Buhari don dey leave be that. We don cast our vote, na to know who be presido remain. So, if you no busy, you fit check Church chronicles for us? You sef fit review one of them. You fit tell us how e dey totori you. Which side you agree to, the side you no too gree with like that. 

Vocabulary/Colloquialisms

1. Drink my water, type my business: Just a personalized form of “drink my water, mind my business” which means to mind one’s business
2. Jangirova, epo moto: In this context, means ‘rollercoaster’
3. Torchlight: To expose

N.B: This is written in pidgin language. Words like tey, jam, fit, gree, dey, took, sidon etc. are modifications or exaggerations of normal spoken English. I’m sorry I can’t put their meanings right in front of them. Na learner I be.